It’s paralyzing.
Starting from the center, to the arms and back, to the feet and hands, and finally to the top of the head.
It simmers. Teeth gnash.
Crushing like a weight of one thousand kilograms, straight on the neck.
Eyes open. The air is there, but I cannot breathe.

How did I come to this?

Someone. Somewhere. Sometime.
It doesn’t matter. It never did and never will.

Saturday evening.
A bit different from the others - a bit humid, a bit cold, a bit sad.
There was nothing left to discuss, nothing to bargain, nothing to remember.
Just slipping away under the heavy stone door of nothingness.

He said he wanted to go.
There was not much left to leave. It was too painful, too dark.
There was no reason for a call.
He just wanted to fade away, to wake up somewhere else - with no white doors, no beeping sounds, no cold fluorescent lights blinking along with time passing.

He gave away everything he had.
He said goodbye to everyone.
He said, “I want to go where I have to go.”
He said, “I can’t take it anymore. I’m too tired. I want to sleep.”
There was nothing left behind.

And then, this Saturday at noon, the final beep was heard - ending a series of events like a spider’s web, touching lives, souls, schedules, vanity fair.

I remember he had a dream: to buy a 4WD car, a strong one, stopping at nothing.
He worked hard for it with his brother, and they did it.
It brought happiness - for a bit.

Then his brother left suddenly.
Three months. Terminal lung cancer.
The car lost its value.
It became just a metal mass on four wheels, carrying something else.

He didn’t enjoy it anymore.
After some years, he sold it.
Now there is no trace of those wheels on the road.

Now it is time to fade away in a hot paper coffin.
Everything that was ever lived.
The days on the balcony watching the ocean.
The love for the garden, for company, for Saturday nights.

All burnt down, tomorrow morning.
In a few hours, everything will be erased as if it never happened.

Some small memories, split among minds, will float for a while, slowly fading, until nothing is left.

And time’s clock keeps ticking for the rest of us.